Psychoanalysis is a signal science of secular modernity. Freud’s hostility towards religion and his, at best, condescension towards the religious are by-now so well-known as to have become part of the obviousness of the secular modern – and of classical psychoanalysis as secular discourse par excellence. There is something ironic in this, given the psychoanalytic focus – in Freud and beyond – on exposing the irrational forces that continually disrupt ‘His Majesty the Ego’. Does a science of the irrational undo its own will to know? This presentation puts psychoanalysis in conversation with recent feminist and queer theories of temporality in order, first, to propose secularism as a particular way of being in time and, second, to offer psychoanalysis as a critical practice whose ways of telling time potentially resist the disciplinary force of being and feeling secular.